Pet's Death Is a Family Affair
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Pet Column for the week of November 1, 1999
Office of Public Engagement
2001 S. Lincoln Ave.
Urbana, Illinois 61802
Phone: 217/333-2907
By Sarah Probst
Information Specialist
University of Illinois
College of Veterinary Medicine
The Rushes went to a breeder to buy a puppy, but instead they came home with a year-old
black lab that had been trained to show but didn't make the size requirements. "We fell in
love with him right away," says Michelle Rush. "We didn't have any children at the time, so
Marley was our baby before our daughter arrived."
Five years and a lot of loving later, the Rushes discovered that Marley was seriously ill. "It
was only three days from when we noticed that Marley wasnﾒt eating to when we
euthanized him. That seemed sudden, but now we recall other changes in his behavior that
were probably signs of his illness," Michelle reflects. For example, Marley needed to urinate
more than usual and would go lie in the dark by himself.
"Even when he stopped eating, I thought it might be the dog food," admits Michelle. "I tried
different kinds of food before I decided it must be serious and took him to the clinic."
The veterinarian ran a few blood tests and diagnosed a serious kidney disease. He told the
Rushes that he could try to stabilize Marley with fluids but that it probably wouldn't help.
"When owners find out they have a terminally ill pet, their biggest question for the
veterinarian is 'How much longer does my pet have?' And that is something that we really
can't answer," says Dr. Jo Ann Eurell, veterinarian at the University of Illinois College of
Veterinary Medicine in Urbana and faculty adviser for the C.A.R.E. (Companion Animal
Related Emotions) Helpline. The helpline provides a supportive outlet for people
experiencing disruption in or the loss of the bond they share with their cherished companion
animal. Veterinary students who understand the importance of this bond and who receive
training and supervision staff the Helpline, which you can reach at (217) 244-CARE or
toll-free at (877) 394-CARE.
Fluids didnﾒt help Marley, and the Rushes decided to take Marley home for the weekend to
consider euthanizsia. When Marley got home he vomited repeatedly and urinated in the
house; the Rushes realized that Marley was suffering and returned to the clinic within two
hours. They cried as Marley was put down.
"Owners know better than anyone else when it is time to euthanize their pet," says Dr.
Eurell. Each situation is unique, but indications that it's time might include a lack of appetite,
inactivity, or a glazed look.
For their own peace of mind, owners should learn about the euthanasia process and
communicate their wishes to the veterinarian. The procedure may take place in the clinic, or
the veterinarian may offer the option of doing it the ownerﾒs home, outdoors, or in a place
where the owner and animal have spent time together.
"The typical euthanasia is an overdose of anesthesia that suppresses brain activity and stops
the heart. The animal doesn't feel any pain and death follows shortly, generally in less than a
minute," explains Dr. Eurell. "In some cases the pet might have a physiologic reaction such
as muscle movement or the relaxation of the sphincters, meaning the pet might urinate or
defecate. In addition, animals may not close their eyes at the time of death." These activities
may cause some concern for an owner, but they are not indications that the pet has
suffered. Whether to be present is a very personal decision that owners should discuss with
the veterinarian.
Michelle Rush says Marleyﾒs death was, in a way, a relief. "Those last few days were
horrible. And yet I was surprised at how devastated I was. He died so quickly and we
weren't ready to lose him. I thought we'd have at least 10 years with him." Even the Rush's
two-year old daughter knew that something was amiss.
"Itﾒs hard to explain death to a two-year-old," says Michelle. "But she understands. When
we talk about Marley, our daughter always says, 'Marley in heaven.ﾒ " Experts at the
C.A.R.E. Helpline suggest comforting children and paying extra attention to them during the
grieving period. However, it is better to explain death concretely rather than to use
euphemisms such as "putting to sleep" or "going away."
Losing a pet is sometimes just as hard as losing a close friend or family member. Defined
social ceremonies exist to grieve the loss of a human and bring closure to the grief, but
people who lose a pet sometimes find no way to share their grief and resolve it. "Most
veterinarians have experienced the loss of a personal pet and really understand what a client
is going through and want to help," says Dr. Eurell. Services such as the C.A.R.E. Helpline
can help too.
"My husband and I spent a lot of time just talking about Marley, and I started a journal
containing all the funny stories we had about Marley ﾅ and we had a lot," says Michelle.
Like the time Marley convinced them that all 75 pounds of him had to be lifted into their
SUV. The Rushes thought he was too big and clumsy to make the leap, until they realized
that food could motivate Marley to be a little lighter on his feet. "He was scamming us to lift
him up in the truck for months. We still laugh out loud remembering him and moments like
that."
If you or someone you know would like support in dealing with the loss of a pet, please call
the C.A.R.E. Helpline: (217) 244-CARE or (877) 394-CARE or visit their web page at
http://net.cvm.uiuc.edu/CARE/.